Journey of Discovery
by Sylvia Viridian
Summary: Lloyd and three companions are collecting Exspheres. During the course of their trip, Kratos and Zelos find that they have more in common than they thought. LloydColette, KratosZelos, better summary inside. Rating will go up for final chapter.
1. Prologue

This was a plotbunny that wouldn't leave me alone, so I started writing it. The next chapter of In Between will be on its way shortly; I had it posted, but I took it down because I had written too much of it too late at night, and it needed some serious revision. That will hopefully happen soon, possibly today. In the meantime, enjoy the first chapter of this much shorter fic! (Probably about six or seven chapters.)

This first chapter is really just the prologue, explaining how the whole situation got set up, which is why it seems a bit rushed. The other chapters will be somewhat longer. Basically, the idea is that Zelos and Kratos end up on a journey with Lloyd and Colette, and have to learn to live with each other's presence. Fortunately, living in such close company with people is a good way to get to know what they're really like, and pretty soon these two will settle down and be civil to each other. Then, the fun begins. The focus of the story is on Kratos and Zelos; other pairings are mostly used to move those two closer, such as going off together in order to give Lloyd and Colette time alone, or Zelos walking in on a scene with Kratos and...er, but that's for later. Just a couple of hints as far as what you have to look forward to.

* * *

It was a sunny midsummer day in Iselia and the surrounding forest. The sun was climbing toward its zenith, birds were singing, and Lloyd Irving was eating breakfast. Tomorrow was the big day; he would be leaving on the next stage of his journey, to travel the world in search of Exspheres, alongside Kratos and Colette. He was a bit nervous, and a lot excited, to be going on a new adventure. Right now, however, he was mostly still waking up, despite the late hour. 

Suddenly, there was a knock on the front door. Blinking a bit as it penetrated the sleep-haze around his mind, he rose to see who it was. He moved to the door and peered out the window; cornflower-blue eyes set in a pale face framed by flame-red hair grinned back at him. Surprised, he opened the door and stepped through. "Zelos, hi!" he greeted his friend, "What are you doing up and about so early?"

Zelos raised an eyebrow, although his grin didn't falter. "What do you mean, 'early', Lloyd? It's almost ten!" he replied cheerfully.

"I know! It's before noon, and you're already dressed and out of the house!" Both of them laughed.

"Not like you're one to talk, bud," Zelos teased, "I'll bet you're still eating breakfast."

Lloyd laughed sheepishly, "Actually, I am. You wanna come in and have some?"

"I ate before I left, but don't let that stop you, bud. Little boys need their strength to grow big and strong like me, after all!" Zelos struck a ridiculous pose. Lloyd punched him in the shoulder, and they headed inside, still laughing.

"So," Lloyd said as he sat back down to his breakfast, "what brings you here? I figure if this is just a visit, you'd have waited till later in the day, right?"

"Um, right, yeah. I wanted to talk to you about the new journey you're going on." Zelos looked just the tiniest bit apprehensive as he sat down across from Lloyd.

"Sure, yeah. What's up?"

"Could I, like, tag along with you?" Zelos was clearly trying to act more casual than he felt. He was a bit nervous about if Lloyd refused; Zelos didn't deal well with rejection. He needn't have worried, of course.

Lloyd grinned at him, a bit surprised, "Hey, that'd be great! But…aren't you needed in Meltokio?"

Zelos grinned back, relieved. "Naw," he said, "They actually told me to make myself scarce. Seems they don't want such a prominent symbol of the old Church to be in the public eye while they're doing all their reforms and stuff. There's gonna be a lot of upheaval, and they need to make sure the people will turn to the government and not the old Church for support; and with the Pope out of the way, it makes me the highest ranked Church symbol in Meltokio. So they need me to keep away for a while, and I can understand that, but I don't want to just sit around doing nothing while the world needs help rebuilding. So I figured I'd come along and help my bud out!"

Lloyd's smile got even wider, "That's a great idea! It'll be fun to have you along. Are you packed yet?"

Zelos' eyes widened, "Um, no…when are we leaving?"

"I'd planned to leave from New Palmacosta around two o'clock tomorrow. Will you be able to make that?"

The former Chosen's eyes got even larger. "If I start packing and getting things set up right now? I think so. But if that's the case, I really need to get going." He rose, "I'll see you tomorrow, then!" That said, Zelos headed for the door.

"Bye, Zelos!" Lloyd called after him, and a moment later, Zelos was on his Rheaird, headed back to Meltokio. He hummed a cheerful song as he flew; life was good.

As Lloyd finished his breakfast, he had a sudden thought. "He does know that Dad and Colette are coming with us…doesn't he?" he mused to himself. Then, shrugging, he turned back to his meal. There wasn't anything he could do about it now.

* * *

The next day at one, Zelos was standing on the New Palmacosta docks, watching the workers bustle about repairing the city. It had rebuilt even faster than Luin had, and everywhere Zelos looked, he could see the reason; the logo of the Lezareno company decorated over half of the supply boxes, and most of the workers' uniforms. Regal was putting all of Lezareno's vast resources to work in the revitalization effort; most of these people, Zelos knew, had once worked in the Exsphere mines, which had of course been shut down. Rebuilding gave them job security for quite a while, and was much safer than their old jobs; they were all so grateful and happy that they cheerfully worked extra hard. 

As Zelos was musing on the business strategies of Lezareno, Lloyd arrived. "Hey, Zelos!" he called out, "What are you doing here so early?"

"Hey, bud. I wanted to come and get the ship prepped for you as thanks for letting me come along, so I got here early…but then, I realized I didn't know which one was yours." He grinned sheepishly.

Lloyd smiled at him, "Well, thanks for the nice thought, anyway. And you can still help me get it ready now."

Just then, Colette ran up behind Lloyd. "Oh, am I late? I'm sorry!" she said. Then, seeing Zelos, she cried, "Zelos, hi! Are you coming with us?"

"Oh, you're coming along, too, Colette? This is gonna be fun! I promise not to get in the way of you two lovebirds," Zelos told them with a wink, laughing at their twin blushes. "Well, then, Lloyd, lead the way!"

They got on the ship, and Lloyd assigned them all tasks to make the small ship ready to get under way. Zelos had finished his, and was looking for Lloyd to see if the others were done as well. "Yo, Lloyd!" he called out, "I'm done here!" Hearing no response, he looked around, "Where is he?"

Suddenly, a familiar deep voice came from behind Zelos. "What are you doing here?" it asked.

_Oh, no. No, no, no. This is not happening. I'm having a nightmare._ "I'm traveling with Lloyd and Colette," he replied, turning slowly to face Kratos, "And you?" _Maybe he's just here to see his son off?_

Kratos' eyes narrowed a bit, "…The same."

Just then, Lloyd arrived. "Oh, hi, Dad!" he said cheerfully, "Good, now that you're here, we can get going!"

Kratos and Zelos both turned to Lloyd. Two voices spoke in unison, one indignant, the other mildly irritated, saying, "You didn't tell me he was coming!"

"Well, Dad, Zelos only joined yesterday, there wasn't really time to say anything to you or Colette. And Zelos, you didn't ask if anyone else was coming with us; I thought you knew. Anyway, we're ready to set sail, so let's go! Dad, you can help me out, since Zelos did the setup stuff."

As the other two left, Zelos sighed and shook his head, with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. _Fate hates me. There's no other explanation._

* * *

Poor Zelos. Please review! Oh, and I realize that a couple of scenes here might be interpreted as kind of Zelos/Lloyd, but that's not the intention; Zelos just really cares what Lloyd thinks of him, because Lloyd was the first person to befriend him for himself instead of his title or reputation. It's more of a brotherly thing, although that's not quite the word either.  



	2. A Battle

Funky announcer voice: Hello, and welcome back to Journey of Discovery! Now we begin this tale in earnest. What could the fates (and more to the point, the authoress) have in store for our beloved couple now? Why is the authoress talking in a funky announcer voice? Read on, and you'll find out! (Well, maybe not that last bit.)

* * *

Chapter 1: A Battle

Fortunately for everyone's sanity, Zelos and Kratos reached an agreement early on in that first day. Kratos had approached Zelos about it, in fact. Zelos had been sunning himself on the deck and reading a good book at the time.

"Zelos," Kratos' voice said from much closer than Zelos had expected anyone to be able to get without him noticing. This, of course, caused Zelos to start rather comically, dropping his book in the process.

"Jeez!" Zelos cried, trying to slow his heartbeat, "Can you try to make a little noise when you walk? You'll drive me into an early grave!"

Kratos looked at him unsympathetically. "Didn't I teach you to always be aware of your surroundings?"

Zelos rolled his eyes. "Forgive me," he said sarcastically, "if I wasn't expecting a surprise attack in the middle of the ocean on a sunny day. Don't you ever relax?" He shook his head, "Don't bother answering that. Anyway, did you want something, or is sneaking up on me your new form of entertainment?"

Kratos smirked a little. "As amusing as your reaction was, it was not the purpose of my coming to talk to you." He paused, considering his words. "I know that we have not always been on the best of terms; however, I believe it would be better for everyone involved if, during the time when we are confined on such a small vessel, we endeavored to be…civil…to one another."

Zelos considered this for a moment. He certainly hadn't been looking forward to constantly feuding with the other swordsman, who could be counted on to give at least as good as he got. On the other hand, being forced to be nice to the older man would mean swallowing his pride and not letting Kratos provoke him, which wouldn't be easy. _It'd be more comfortable for Lloyd and Colette, though…_ "…Okay," he said, "but only because we'd drive Lloyd and Colette crazy otherwise."

"My sentiments exactly," Kratos responded, "I'm glad we could come to an agreement." And with that, he left Zelos to his book.

Somewhat to Zelos' surprise, Kratos held up his end of their bargain remarkably well over the next few days; it seemed as if the other man was almost being nice to him. Much more surprising to Zelos was how easy it was to be nice back, now that Kratos wasn't provoking him. Zelos couldn't decide if he was more distressed by Kratos being nice or by how natural it felt to return the favor.

Fortunately for Zelos' poor overtaxed brain, he only had to deal with the strange situation for a few days before they arrived at their first destination: the Meltokio side of the Grand Tethe'alla Bridge. Or rather, what was left of the bridge. The reunification had caused some shifting in the continents; as a result, the two points where the bridge connected to land had moved closer together, causing the bridge to crumple and collapse under the strain. The drawbridge portion still had all kinds of Exspheres on it, though, and Lloyd intended to remove them.

They tied their boat up at the dock there, and went to look at the drawbridge, trying to plan how to remove all the Exspheres. To their surprise, they were met there by a group of workers who had already been taking them down; the job was nearly done.

"What's going on here?" Lloyd asked them suspiciously.

A man who appeared to be their leader stepped forward. "Ah, you must be Lloyd Irving and his companions. We've been expecting you." He showed them a Lezareno Company ID card, "My name is Ormrist Bessen. I am to tell you that Master Bryant sends his regards; he would be here in person, but something unexpected came up in Neozette, and he felt his presence was required there."

"I hope everything's all right!" Colette exclaimed.

"From what I understand, it was a fairly minor problem. His Grace seems to be particularly attentive to that project. At any rate, as you can see, we have nearly finished removing the Exspheres from the drawbridge. Once that is done, with your permission, we will help load them onto your ship."

"Regal really set all this up for us? That's great! You guys have sure made this part a lot easier!" Zelos exclaimed.

"But…won't the people who paid for the bridge be mad? I mean, if we're just stealing all these Exspheres…" Lloyd said uncertainly.

"Oh, that's right…you Sylvarant kids wouldn't automatically know," Zelos replied, "Lezareno owns this bridge…or at least, what's left of it. It was built by Regal's great-grandfather or someone."

"Wow," Lloyd said, "Altamira, ski resorts in Flanoir, the mines, and even the bridge? What doesn't Regal own?" Zelos and Colette laughed at that, and even Kratos smirked in amusement.

Suddenly, there was a commotion from the land side. The group turned to see what it was; Zelos heard Colette gasp in shock at the sight, and had to agree with the sentiment. Ten heavily armed soldiers, clad in very distinctive ornate green armor, were marching toward them, shoving aside civilians as they went. They were led by a man in matching golden armor.

"…Papal Knights," Kratos observed. He turned to Zelos, "I thought the Pope was exiled, and his Knights disbanded?"

Zelos shrugged, "So did I; looks like we were wrong. But what are they doing here?"

His question was answered a moment later by the Cardinal Knight, the soldier in gold armor. "Hand over the Exspheres, and no one gets hurt!" he shouted at them.

"Except of course the countless victims whose souls will be consumed by these accursed gems," Kratos replied dryly. "Get ready," he told the others. They all nodded; it was clear they'd have to fight off their attackers. Lloyd moved to meet them, and the others followed suit, until the two groups clashed.

The battle seemed about an even match; Lloyd and his friends were more powerful warriors, to be sure, but the Papal Knights were far from weak…and they had quite an advantage in numbers. Gradually, though, the party was able to wear down the knights, finding chinks in their armor and taking down the weakest first, until the knights lay wounded and defeated on the ground.

"Is everyone all right?" Lloyd asked when the last one fell to the ground. They all nodded, and Lloyd began moving toward the other three, who had ended up on a different part of the battlefield from him.

Suddenly, Kratos paled, as he shouted, "Lloyd, look out!" Moving almost faster than anyone could see, he leaped between Lloyd and one of the fallen knights, who was apparently not as defeated as they had thought; he was swinging his axe in a deadly arc toward Lloyd's formerly unprotected back. Kratos had no time to make any kind of defense on his own behalf; crying out in excruciating pain, he crumpled to the ground with a huge gash across his midsection, and from the amount of bleeding, it was clear that the attack had hit something vital.

Lloyd, who had begun turning around as soon as Kratos called out to him, saw all of this. With a cry of rage and shock, he dispatched the knight with one final blow, then immediately turned to try and stop the flow of blood from Kratos' wound, cradling the man with one arm and ineffectually pressing the other hand to the injury. The gash was far too large for him to do any good.

Zelos was by his side a moment later, taking Lloyd's place in supporting the man's weight. "Lloyd, Colette, get bandages and gels, we're going to need a lot. Let me see him, okay? I can heal." They nodded, grateful that someone had taken charge, and ran off to get the supplies. Zelos knelt beside Kratos and examined the ghastly wound with a grim expression. As he did so, Kratos opened his eyes once, still gasping and making pained noises; he looked at Zelos pleadingly, then went limp in his grasp, the pain and blood loss stealing away his consciousness.

"Damn it, Kratos, don't you dare give up and die now," Zelos growled. Laying the Seraph down, he pressed the edges of the wound together, careless of the blood that was staining his gloves, thankful that the other man was unconscious by this point, because otherwise even Kratos would be screaming in pain. He gathered all the mana he could spare and sent it flowing into the wound in a steady stream, grateful to see the bleeding slow and the edges fuse together partially, although the healing process was far from complete. He kept at it, and by the time Lloyd and Colette came back with the bandages and gels, Zelos was exhausted. He'd managed to slow the bleeding to the point where nature would be able to take its course as far as healing, though. As Lloyd and Colette made a poultice out of bandages and Lemon Gels, Zelos watched, giving pointers and making sure that they knew what they were doing, and at the same time snatching a few Pineapple Gels for himself.

Someone approached Zelos; he turned to see Ormrist Bessen there, looking slightly ill. "I-is there anything we can do to help you, sir?" he asked.

Zelos looked at the soldiers on the ground, "Do you think you guys could tie them up well enough that they can't escape, the ones that are still breathing? I think we killed a couple of them, but the rest will need to be imprisoned and interrogated."

Bessen nodded, "Absolutely. We also have an EC, if you need transportation for your friend…"

Zelos shook his head, "No way is he in any fit state to travel, not for a while. Don't you guys have any healers among you?"

"Unfortunately, no. In this area, most wounds that would normally be incurred can be cured with Gels, so there's no need for a healer. I will have my men go out in the EC and bring one back from Meltokio, if you like, but that would take some time."

"How much time, exactly?" Zelos pressed.

"For the round trip…three days. Minimum."

Zelos shook his head, "Don't bother, then. He'll be either dead or walking by the time three days have gone by, I guarantee it."

"…If you're sure, sir."

"Yeah. What you can do, though, is have them bring these guys to Meltokio and tell the King that the Pope is causing trouble again, probably rebuilding his private army."

"It will be done."

"Thanks, man. I'm gonna go see if I can manage a few more healing spells…"

That night was spent in uneasy vigil; Zelos insisted that he would be the one to watch over Kratos all night, since he had healing spells. The others agreed reluctantly, and while Zelos and Kratos camped out on the land (Zelos didn't trust that the rocking of the boat wouldn't damage Kratos' wound further), they slept fitfully on the boat. Lloyd made Zelos promise to wake him if Kratos regained consciousness during the night, so that he could take over once his father was out of immediate danger, and Zelos agreed.

So while the others rested, Zelos sat by a small campfire under the stars and cast healing spells on Kratos whenever he felt able to do so. A few hours before dawn, Kratos suddenly stirred, and opened his eyes. "Ughh…what…?" he mumbled, and Zelos was by his side immediately.

"Don't you dare try to sit up," he told Kratos firmly, "I've spent enough of my mana trying to close that wound, the last thing we need is for you to be opening it up again."

"…Zelos?" the Seraph murmured, "So, it was you that saved me. Thank you."

"Don't mention it. How does the wound feel?"

"It's painful, but not unbearable; it seems to be healing well. Zelos…you're exhausted. Did you really spend that much mana healing me?"

"Sure did. I'd like to say it was all for Lloyd's sake and not yours…but I have to admit, you really impressed me with that. I…guess I owe you an apology."

Kratos looked confused, "For…what?"

"For thinking you didn't really care about Lloyd, except as a means to an end. For thinking you were just using him to help resolve your own guilt about the world. I'm sorry."

"I don't see why you need to apologize for that. I did manipulate my son that way; even though I cared about him, I still used him as a pawn in a greater scheme," Kratos replied.

"Yeah, but you regret that you had to do it, I can see that now. I didn't realize before how much it must have hurt you…to not be able to tell him everything, to have him not trust you. So mostly, I'm sorry for thinking you were a heartless bastard."

"What brings this up now?"

Zelos gave the man a sardonic look, "Because you didn't once hesitate in taking what could easily have been a fatal blow, and I'm sure you knew it. …Lloyd means the world to me, but I don't think I could have done that, not without just a moment's hesitation, and by then it would have been too late."

Kratos was silent for a long moment. Finally, he said, "Knowing your past, I certainly cannot blame you for believing what you did."

When the other man didn't respond further, Zelos found that he was, inexplicably, a bit hurt by Kratos' apparent lack of reaction, "That's it? I just apologized for hating you! Is that really all you have to say?" He shook his head, "…I guess you really don't care what I think of you, huh? Sorry for wasting your time…" The former Chosen started to move away a little, staring broodingly into the campfire, but Kratos' voice stopped him.

"Zelos…" he said, in an oddly gentle tone, "…Your opinion of me does matter." Zelos looked up at him, surprised, and met Kratos' eyes, full of four thousand years' regret, "In fact, much of the time…I agree with the opinion of me which you have held for so long." He looked away, "I don't deserve a son like Lloyd, but for his sake, I try to simply be grateful for the fact that fate has given me so much more happiness than I deserve."

"Kratos…" Zelos murmured, then smirked, "Heh. I guess we have that much in common, then."

Kratos shook his head a bit, "No, your situation was forced upon you by your circumstances…circumstances which Cruxis created. If anything, I should be apologizing to you, for helping create and maintain the system of the Chosen Ones."

Zelos waved off the semi-apology, "Don't you dare. I had choices, even as the Chosen; if you claim that circumstance can make someone a victim, then you were one, too. You aren't getting off that easily. Besides, if the system of the Chosens hadn't existed, I wouldn't have been born. And while in the past, I might have regarded that as a good thing…in the end, I think I'm pretty glad to be alive now. So don't apologize for that, don't bother regretting that. What's done is done."

Kratos smiled, ever so slightly. "Thank you, Zelos."

"Don't mention it." He eyed the other man, "This doesn't mean we're all buddy-buddy now, you realize. I still don't like you much. I just don't hate you anymore."

Kratos nodded, "I understand."

"Good. Now, I'd better go wake Lloyd; I promised I'd let him know if you woke up during the night. Besides, I'm exhausted from all those healing spells. That guy really got you good." Zelos got up and walked toward the boat.

"Very well," Kratos replied, "Thank you, once again, for saving my life."

Zelos looked down, a bit embarrassed, "Look, don't mention it, okay? I just did what I had to do." Before Kratos could respond, he had darted into the boat to go find Lloyd.

The boy was tossing and turning in his bunk; Zelos shook him a bit. "Hey, Lloyd. Wake up."

"Hngwha?" the boy asked blearily, "Oh! Zelos! Is Dad…"

"He's awake; I talked to him for a while, and he didn't seem to be in too much pain, although he still needs to take it easy for a while, so that he doesn't reopen the wound."

Lloyd nodded, "Gotcha. And Zelos…"

"Hm? What is it, bud?"

"Thanks. For all of this. I don't know what I'd have done if Dad…if he…"

"Lloyd." Zelos placed a hand on his shoulder, "He'll be fine. Don't worry about the 'what ifs', okay? I just did what anyone with a heart would have done."

Lloyd nodded, "Thanks, Zelos." With that, he dashed outside toward the campfire; Zelos watched from the window as the two were reunited, and smiled.

* * *

Please review! ((Is happy with the way this turned out)) 


	3. A Quiet Evening

Welcome to the next chapter of Journey of Discovery! Included in this chapter is a bunch of history from both Kratos and Zelos; sections of it have undoubtedly been influenced by what I've read, but the only influence I can identify for certain is Satanic Mechanic, who has a wonderful fic about Kratos teaching Zelos swordsmanship. (Lovely Kratos/Zelos. Go read it.) So if anyone else sees something familiar in here, I'm very, very sorry; consider it a compliment that I think of your idea as basically canon!

As always, I don't own them. Enjoy!

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Chapter 2: A Quiet Evening 

Zelos' offhand prediction about Kratos' recovery time turned out to be accurate; the Seraph was able to walk within three days of his injury, mostly thanks to Zelos' continued efforts at healing. Unfortunately, this process left Zelos' mana levels consistently drained, as he spent all of the mana he could spare to cast healing spells on Kratos. The former Chosen insisted that Kratos save his energy for natural healing, which would unfortunately leave Zelos as their only spellcaster.

Kratos, of course, had no intention of obeying this; he simply made sure not to heal himself while Zelos could observe him. This lasted for the better part of a day, until Zelos noticed the flare of mana as Kratos surreptitiously cast yet another First Aid spell.

"I told you not to do that!" Zelos cried in irritation, "You can't afford to use up your energy after losing so much blood, and there's still a risk of infection! I did a lot of work to get you healed this far, I don't want all that to go to waste just because you were being an impatient patient!"

"Zelos, I've been healing my own wounds for longer than you've been alive. I think I can manage," the older swordsman pointed out, "And it can't be healthy for you to keep draining your own mana levels like this. Gels can only do so much in that regard."

"I'm fine, save your concern for those who need it…like yourself. I'm not the one in danger of getting my wound infected if my body doesn't have the energy to fight off germs and stuff," Zelos said stubbornly, "Trust me, gut wounds like that are nasty. If that gets infected, it'll spread into your bloodstream real quick, and then it'll go all through your system like wildfire, and even you'll be in serious trouble if that happens. And like I said before, you haven't fully recovered from the blood loss; you're still all pale. You need to rest. The Exspheres can wait another day or two for me to finish healing you; they aren't going anywhere that soon."

Lloyd and Colette made it quite clear that they agreed with Zelos, and although Kratos grumbled about it, he knew the younger man had a point. He did insist that he could handle being on the boat, though, so they eventually agreed to continue their travels, as long as Kratos spent the next few days' worth of boat trip resting, to which he reluctantly acquiesced.

So, the merry little group bid farewell to Ormrist Bessen, and set off again. Their next destination? Sybak.

The next few days went by smoothly. Kratos' wound was all but healed, and Zelos finally agreed that he was well enough to cast his own healing spells. There was only one small problem aboard the tiny vessel; Zelos had walked in on what he believed was a 'moment' between Lloyd and Colette at least three times now, and he was sure that Kratos had done the same. It was simply impossible to find privacy aboard the boat except in the bedrooms, and he knew that both Lloyd and Colette were far too naïve and innocent for it to even occur to them to try one of the bedrooms as a place to talk. Something Needed To Be Done in order to allow those two some privacy for a while, and it wouldn't happen until they were on land, at the very soonest.

They landed at a dock several miles from Sybak around noon of the fourth day after they left the Meltokio side of the bridge. After a brief discussion of the distances involved, they agreed to stay in the area overnight, and head for Sybak the next day. Once camp was set up, Zelos put his plan into motion.

"Hey, Kratos," he said cheerfully, "Now that your wound's fixed up and all, you're gonna wanna exercise it a bit, to make sure the scar doesn't end up restricting your movement or anything. How about a sparring match?"

Kratos blinked at him, slightly unnerved by Zelos' helpfulness. "…That's a good idea," he conceded a bit uncertainly.

"Okay, let's head over there," Zelos replied just as enthusiastically as before, pointing to a point in the distance over a nearby hill. "You kids stay here and guard the camp, okay?" he added.

"But I want to watch you guys. It sounds like an interesting matchup, I want to see what happens!" Lloyd said.

Zelos sighed, "Lloyd, what's going to happen is that I'm going to get my butt kicked. Doesn't matter that he's recovering from that wound, he's still way out of my league. At the very least, I'd like to preserve my pride from you guys watching, okay?"

"Lloyd, let's stay here," Colette said suddenly, catching on.

Lloyd looked at her, "…Okay, then. You guys have fun!"

Zelos chuckled a bit; Lloyd didn't stand a chance when it came to Colette's wishes. "We'll be back later!" he called out, "C'mon, pops!" Kratos followed him, grumbling a bit.

Zelos kept going in the direction he'd indicated until both of them were well out of sight and hearing of the campsite; then, looking around and determining that they were at a safe distance, he flopped down on the grass, showing no sign of actually wanting to spar with anyone.

This confused Kratos somewhat. "Whatever happened to helping me exercise?" he asked, a bit dryly.

"As if you need my help for that," Zelos snorted, "If you want to exercise a bit or something, feel free; I just needed an excuse to get us away from camp."

Kratos blinked at him, "Why did you want to do that?"

Zelos shot him an amused glance, "I see where Lloyd gets his density from. In case you hadn't noticed, those two are very much in love, and need some time alone together to figure it out. They weren't getting it on the boat, and they probably won't get it at all with us older folks around all the time. Lloyd is too oblivious, and Colette is too polite, to ask for some time to themselves, but they needed it, so I'm giving it to them."

Kratos looked thoughtful for a moment, then smiled ever-so-slightly, "You're right, and I would never have thought of it." He glanced sidelong at the other swordsman, "Tell me, does anyone else know that you're a romantic at heart?"

Zelos' eyes widened in half-faked panic, "Shh! Not so loud, someone might hear you, and then where would my reputation be?"

"I was under the impression that women liked a man who could be romantic."

"Not the ones I go after; I try to keep away from the girls who might want a commitment from me. Easier on everyone that way."

"…I see."

After a few moments of silence, Kratos sat down on the grass a few feet from Zelos. They spent several silent minutes simply watching the clouds go by in the sky. Finally, Zelos spoke. "You know, it's really shameful how little I know about you, considering that we've been acquainted for over five years now." He thought for a moment, "Hey, I know! We'll ask each other questions. You start with the first one, and then I'll ask you something, and we'll keep going like that. No quick answers, either; if it's a yes-or-no question, or a one-word answer, you have to elaborate on it a bit. So what do you say?"

"…Why do you want to get to know me?"

"Because I'm bored, and we ought to stay away from camp for at least the next few hours. Besides, if I'm stuck traveling with you, I want to know who I'm traveling with."

Kratos shrugged, "Very well. …You had already received the Oracle regarding who you were to marry, had you not?"

"Yeah, it was this girl from a little town in the middle of nowhere. She was pretty enough, sure, but not really my type. Too sweet and nice, although she could certainly take care of herself in a fight; I guess she'd had some kind of martial-arts training ever since she was a kid. Anyway, we were supposed to be married when I turned twenty-five; she was as glad as I was to be able to break the engagement. Last I heard, she was marrying some kid she'd grown up with, a swordsman guy with spiky blonde hair and a weird name, Skye or Storm or something like that. (1) My turn now, hm…" Zelos thought for a minute. "Where are you actually from, originally? Is the place even still around?"

Kratos smirked broadly, apparently quite amused by something. "Actually, I grew up in and around Meltokio, the son of a general in the Tethe'allan army. We had a mansion in the noble's quarter; I was the only child, and after…the war, my parents were both deceased, and I didn't need the mansion. The girl we'd picked to be Tethe'alla's first Chosen One needed to have a house in Meltokio, so I gave my old family home over to the Chosen bloodline." He continued to smirk, waiting for Zelos to put the pieces of this together.

Zelos blinked, then did it again. "Wait a minute…you're saying that you grew up…in my house?"

Kratos' eyes were glinting with merriment as he said, "I believe it's my turn to ask you a question…How exactly did you end up involved with the Renegades?"

"Well, I'd been up on Derris-Kharlan giving reports to Yggdrasill, and I'd seen pictures of the wanted 'leader' of the Renegades, Botta. Then one day, I caught Yuan talking to Botta via hologram, and put two and two together. Unfortunately, he saw that I'd seen them; but I agreed not to turn them in if they'd let me work for them."

"…In other words, Yuan wouldn't let you live otherwise."

"Details, details." Zelos waved off the comment, "How did you meet Yuan?"

Kratos' eyes took on a faraway cast. "He was a…we called them 'servants', but in reality, they were half-elven slaves. Another slave, a little girl, was being beaten, and Yuan fought back in order to defend her. Unfortunately, he'd done similar things one time too many, and the supervisor was going to have him executed. I saw what had happened, and stepped in; I believe I said something ridiculous about taking him for a personal servant and 'taming' him, fully intending to free him as soon as they left us alone, and tell anyone who asked that I'd executed him after all. He refused to let me free him, though, telling me that he needed to 'repay his debt of honor'. Yuan always did have a flair for the dramatic; I found out from him much later that he simply hadn't wanted to admit that he had nowhere else to go. So after that, he acted as my personal servant in public, and as my friend when we were alone. Eventually, I was made a knight, and went traveling with him as my companion; we rescued a pair of half-elven siblings from bandits, and the rest is, quite literally, history." He focused back on Zelos, "When I came to teach you swordsmanship, you knew that I wasn't a mercenary; you knew who I was. Why did you play along and let me teach you?"

Zelos shrugged, "I figured that if Cruxis had sent you to kill me, you'd succeed one way or the other, so it wouldn't matter what I did, and if you'd been sent to teach me, I might as well learn. …I didn't much care if I lived or died at that point, anyway. Also, I was curious. I thought…that maybe you'd be a point of stability, someone I could look up to, the sort of person I'd never had in my life. …It didn't work out that way, of course, but that's what I wanted at the time." It was a major confession, from Zelos, and he hoped it wouldn't backfire.

Kratos' expression was subdued and slightly troubled, "…I'm sorry. I could see, at the time, what you needed…and to be honest, it…frightened me. I'm afraid I pushed you away somewhat because of that…"

Zelos shook his head, "It's fine, it's fine; I understand now. You'd already lost one kid, and a Chosen One ain't exactly a good emotional investment." That last was said with just a hint of bitterness, but he continued neutrally, "Not that it didn't hurt a bit at the time, but I'd been hurt worse. I'm over it."

Kratos did not seem reassured. "I'm sorry…" was all he would say.

Zelos decided a subject change was in order. "So, how did you meet Noishe, anyway?"

Kratos stared off into the distance, remembering, "It was Martel who found him and brought him back to camp; he was a bird at the time, and his wing was injured, probably from escaping the cages where the military kept the Protozoans they used in the war. No one else had ever seen a Protozoan before, so I was the only one who understood what he really was for a while, or the fact that he was about as intelligent as the average human; as a result, he tended to prefer my company, since I was the only one for a long time who didn't talk down to him as though he were an animal. He took an interest in us, and stayed with us even once his wing was healed; eventually, he evolved into the Arshis form which he is in today. Someday, probably fairly soon, he will evolve into a human." Kratos smirked a little, "Of course, 'fairly soon' means probably within the next two hundred years…" He shook his head, growing serious again, "Zelos…since I could not be your…" his next words seemed rather forced, as if he was reluctant to say them and make them real, "your 'father figure'…all those years ago…what do you hope to find in me today?"

Zelos thought silently for a long moment. Finally, he said, "You know, I'm not really sure. I mean, we seem to have passed the goal of 'lack of hostility', so…I don't really know. I suppose we'll see, y'know?" Suddenly, Zelos felt uncomfortable. To dispel the feeling, he jumped to his feet, grinning widely. "Hey, I think I'm interested in having that sparring match after all. What do you say, old man? You wanna try and defeat the great Zelos Wilder?"

A competitive gleam entered Kratos' eyes as he rose. "Old man, hm? I'll have you know: in my case, 'older' only means 'more experienced'. Let's see how much you've improved since your last lesson."

Zelos noted, with an odd feeling of warmth and pride, that he said 'how much' and not 'if'. _He really does have faith in my skills._ Then, Kratos drew his blade, and there was no more time for thought.

As Zelos had expected, he ended up thoroughly bruised and battered by the end of the session…but he had gotten more hits on Kratos than he expected, something he chalked up to the older man's not-quite-complete recovery. Finally, he collapsed on the grass, laughing breathlessly, "Okay, okay, I give! You're still way better than me!" He examined his hands, which had gotten rather blistered without his usual gloves. Poking one of the blisters, he winced, and wondered if his depleted mana reserves could handle fixing them. "Ouch," he commented.

"What's wrong?" Kratos asked, coming over and kneeling beside him.

"Oh, just my hands; they're all blistered without my gloves." Zelos tried to brush it off, not wanting to seem weak in front of the other man.

"You should know better than to fight without your gloves on," Kratos commented, "In fact, why haven't you been wearing them? There are still monsters about; it doesn't do to be unprepared for battle."

"Yeah, well, I haven't had a chance to get new ones, and my old ones are kind of all bloodstained. They're beyond repair," Zelos remarked pointedly.

"…Oh." Kratos actually seemed a bit embarrassed. After a moment of looking uncomfortable, he reached out and took Zelos' hand, "Here." Zelos was about to ask what in the world he thought he was doing, when Kratos muttered, "First Aid," and Zelos felt the rush of healing mana over his hand, repairing the blisters easily. Kratos then repeated the process with his other hand.

Zelos felt his cheeks grow slightly warm at the man's surprisingly gentle touch, and found himself almost disappointed when it didn't linger any more than necessary. _Whoa, whoa, no way. Nuh-uh, not happening,_ he thought, _And don't read anything into all this, either; it's probably just his way of apologizing about the whole glove thing._ "Thanks," he said, once Kratos had finished, "I'd have done it myself, but…"

Kratos nodded, "Don't mention it. …Do you suppose we should go back to camp? It's nearly dark."

Zelos glanced at the sky in surprise, to find it tinged with pink and orange. _Wow, were we really gone that long?_ "Yeah, we should get going, before they start to worry." He grinned to cover up his internal confusion. "Race you back!" he cried, and took off running back toward the camp.

Later that night, after Colette had gently chastised them both for staying out so long (_She's going to be a wonderful mother someday,_ Zelos thought), they all settled down for bed. Zelos volunteered to take the first watch, in order to let the others rest, although Kratos insisted that he be allowed to take part of the watch as well. Zelos reluctantly agreed, and the others went to bed, quickly falling into slumber.

Zelos found himself watching Kratos as he slept, a little surprised that the Seraph had fallen asleep so quickly. _Then again, he's probably not fully recovered,_ he thought. _…He looks so different when he's asleep…so much gentler…_ Zelos shook himself. _No. No, no, no. Not going there. He may be pretty, no denying that, but he's Kratos, for heaven's sake. Besides, he's straight, right? I mean, he married Anna and had Lloyd…_

_Not that that means anything,_ another part of his mind said, _You like girls, too, remember? And he and Yuan are pretty close._

_Of course they're close, they've known each other for four thousand years. It doesn't mean he likes guys. Most guys don't. And even if he did…no! No, no, no! It's not happening._

He looked at Kratos' sleeping face again, and sighed, just a little, then turned away resolutely to stare into the darkness instead.

* * *

(1) Cloud/Tifa, anyone? 

Muhahaha! So, the romance begins. Please review!


	4. Growing Feelings and an Awkward Moment

Hey, everyone! Thanks for all the reviews, and here's the next chapter you asked for! These things seem to keep getting longer. This one has Yuan, and the next probably-not-so-stunning revelation, as well as some discussion on the nature of Exspheres.

I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my sisters, the two of them who will likely be reading this. You know who you are, and I thank both of you from the bottom of my heart for supporting my fangirlishness even when I go completely silly. I love you both!

Now, read on, and enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 3: Growing Feelings and an Awkward Moment 

Days of traveling stretched into weeks. They went all around the continent, gathering Exspheres from every city, town and village along the way. And as they traveled, they fell into routines, finding their roles within the group. Kratos watched out for everyone's health, made sure they had supplies, and managed the money; Lloyd and Colette were the heart and soul of the group, their reason for being there, the true heroes of the world; and Zelos looked out for them all emotionally, defusing potential arguments, providing comic relief, and indicating to Kratos when they needed to go off and have another 'sparring session'.

Zelos was beginning to greatly look forward to the times he spent with Kratos, not just because of what he had to admit was a growing crush on the elder swordsman, but for the reasons which had triggered the crush in the first place. Kratos was quiet and intelligent, extremely gorgeous, and he actually listened to Zelos. Zelos knew that it was probably only because Kratos felt bad about what Cruxis had done to the Chosen Ones, at least at first, but it felt good to have someone who would honestly consider what he said before making a decision to believe it or disregard it. Sometimes the decision didn't take long, when Zelos was being silly, but he could tell that Kratos was honestly paying attention to Zelos himself, and that was a feeling he still couldn't get enough of. Well, that and the older man's occasional smiles.

Not only did Kratos listen, but it seemed that he actually considered Zelos' conversation and his opinions to be worthwhile. They would sometimes get into long discussions about various things, and as time progressed, Zelos noticed that Kratos was initiating these discussions as often as Zelos himself was. When Zelos realized this, he vowed that he would never act upon the feelings he had for the other man. Having Kratos consider him as a friend, a worthy companion, was too precious a thing to risk on something like that.

So they finished with the central continent this way, and eventually headed back to where they'd moored their ship, loaded down with sacks of Exspheres. Lloyd and Colette were gradually growing closer, all thanks to Zelos' idea of 'sparring sessions', while Zelos and Kratos themselves formed a comfortable companionship during those same times, whether they actually spent any time sparring, or simply sat and talked, or went their own ways entirely for those hours that they were gone from the camp. The only problem that Zelos could see, as they sat around the campfire one night, was his persistent feelings toward Kratos. He'd sworn not to do anything about them, but he couldn't help his occasional reactions – like blushing when the man leaned too close, or the way a smile sometimes made his heart skip a beat – and he was worried that the others might notice.

He glanced at Lloyd out of the corner of his eye. Okay, so he was worried that Colette or – Martel forbid – Kratos might notice. He didn't think he'd have much problem with Lloyd, and even if the boy did notice something, he'd believe pretty much any excuse Zelos could come up with. Colette was more observant than she seemed, though, at least in some ways…but he could probably convince her to keep quiet. He refused to even think about what would happen if Kratos found out. He'd probably have to hitchhike his way back to Meltokio…

He shook his head. Tomorrow, they'd be back on the boat, and headed toward Flanoir. Kratos had mentioned something about going to visit Yuan while they were in the area, as the other Seraph had offered the Renegades' storerooms for holding the Exspheres they acquired until they decided what should be done with them, so they planned to stop off at the base before going to the city itself. Besides, Zelos knew that as much as Kratos might enjoy his company, he surely missed the presence of the man who had been pretty much his only friend for four thousand years. There wasn't much that could compete with a bond like that.

Zelos rubbed his eyes; it was getting late. Climbing into his bedroll, he told Kratos to be sure to wake him for his watch, then rolled over and went to sleep, trying to focus his thoughts on something other than the auburn-haired swordsman before he fell asleep. Dreaming about Kratos while said swordsman was on watch…was another thing that didn't bear thinking about. Instead, he focused on the thought that they'd all have to get used to being back on the boat starting tomorrow.

When Zelos finally fell asleep, he dreamed their boat was being tossed about in a deadly storm, until Kratos woke him from his nightmare. Declaring that he wouldn't be able to sleep any more that night, Zelos insisted on taking over the watch early, and ignoring Kratos' look of concern, he stayed up guarding the camp all night instead. He spent the hours brooding over the effect that unrequited emotions were having on every aspect of his life, and wondering how long it would take before he snapped and did something incredibly stupid. Their journey was beginning to look intolerably long once again, though for a completely different reason than it had at first.

* * *

They arrived at the old base without incident, and were promptly let in by a subordinate, who told them that "Lord Yuan" would be there to welcome them shortly, and showed them their rooms before leaving them in a study-like area. A few minutes later, the subordinate returned, followed by a familiar irritable blunette. 

"Here they are, Lord Yuan. Did you need anything else?" the man asked.

Yuan sighed exasperatedly, "I keep telling everyone to stop calling me that. 'Sir' is fine, but I'd really rather leave behind the part of my life that involved my being 'Lord Yuan' all the time."

"Sorry, sir. I'm sure it'll take, eventually."

"You clearly have more faith than I do, Derick. You're dismissed; I'll call for someone if I think of anything else." As Derick bowed once and left, Yuan turned to face the rest of them. His gaze scanned over all their faces, until it came to rest on Kratos, and he gave his friend a warm smile in greeting. "So, how goes the journey?" he asked them.

"It's going well," Lloyd answered, "We've already got a lot of Exspheres stored up, just from the one continent; our hold's almost full. It was sure nice of you to offer us your storage space for them. I didn't even think of what we were going to do with them all."

Yuan snorted, "I know you didn't." His expression turned businesslike, "The best idea, eventually, would probably be to destroy them, so that they'll never hurt anyone else. We should work on gathering them all into one place first, though, it'll be easier that way."

Colette looked troubled, "Um, mister Yuan? I, um…" She trailed off uncertainly.

"What is it?" he asked her, not unkindly, "And just Yuan will be fine."

"It's just that…Exspheres are alive too, aren't they? I understand about freeing the people inside of them, but the ones that don't have souls inside…it's not the Exspheres' fault that they do that to people. It…it seems wrong, to kill them all for doing something that they can't even control. I know that if they still exist, they can still hurt people, but…" Colette wrung her hands a bit, not knowing what to do, and Zelos' heart went out to the gentle girl.

Yuan's gaze softened. "You have a kind heart, Colette," he murmured, "…To tell the truth, I hadn't thought about it that way. I'm not sure what the proper course of action is, in this case; but we have plenty of time to decide. So far, you've only collected a fraction of the remaining Exspheres in this world, and there's still Derris-Kharlan to deal with, as well…although I suppose we can just jettison those into space."

"Yuan is right," Kratos said, "We should all think carefully about this, and perhaps consult the others as well. This isn't a decision that one person can make, but we have time before the final choice is made." The others nodded solemnly.

"You're right," Colette said, "We don't need to worry about it right now. I'm just glad to be here with all of you!" She was clearly trying to lighten the mood, so Zelos decided to help her out.

"Aw, you're so sweet, Colette! Tell you what, why don't we head for the cafeteria? I think we could use some lunch, and it'll be nice for us to not have to cook while we're here," he said in his normal tones. At Lloyd and Colette's nods, he grinned, "Great, then, follow me!"

Kratos cleared his throat, "I'll stay here. I'm not hungry, and I'd like to talk to Yuan some more, assuming my presence won't be terribly missed."

Zelos nodded, "Sure, you two spend some time catching up, then, and us younger folks who actually need to eat will get some lunch. Come on, you two!" The three trooped down to the Renegades' cafeteria, one of the places in the base that Zelos was most familiar with.

That evening, Zelos was bored. He decided to spend some time fixing up his gear, which had begun to get rather weathered after so much traveling. So he got out his sword, and his sharpening/cleaning kit…only to find that his whetstone had gone missing. "Man…" he groaned. He'd have to get a new one soon; in the meantime, he would go and borrow Kratos'. He knew it was just an excuse to go see the older swordsman, however briefly, but as long as he had a legitimate excuse, he felt he could safely indulge his feelings that much. And if he didn't make some small concessions like this, he felt, he'd end up going crazy.

So he made his way down the hall to Kratos' bedroom. When he reached the door, he gave a cursory knock before simply entering. "Hey Kratos, can-" he began, then cut off, feeling his cheeks flush bright red even as the rest of his face paled.

Kratos was sitting on the bed, but he wasn't alone; he was leaning backward under Yuan's weight, his arms wrapped quite intimately around the other man, who had at least one hand underneath Kratos' shirt. Both Seraphim were blushing bright red at being caught, and from the way that Yuan was glaring, and his hair beginning to lift and frizz as though the air around him was charged with static electricity, Zelos decided he'd seen enough. "Sorry!" he called out, cringing as he backed out of the room, "I'm so sorry, I didn't…sorry!" The door slid shut in front of him, and Zelos stood there stunned for a moment, before high-tailing it back to his own room, all thoughts of whetstones long gone from his mind.

_Kratos…and Yuan…so they…but I thought…_ He shook his head to clear his thoughts. The motion seemed to dislodge another thought, which had previously been stuck in a lower level of consciousness, and which floated to the top now that its path was clear.

_But damn, that was hot._

Reassured a little by the relative coherency of that statement, at least, Zelos began piecing together other complete thoughts. _So, Kratos isn't quite as straight as I thought. That's a good thing, right?_

_But he's with Yuan. I mean, why the hell would he want me instead of the one person in the world who knows everything that he's been through? And hell, he probably wouldn't want me that way even if he and Yuan weren't together. So either way, all I really have is the illusion of a chance, which is sort of worse than before._ Zelos lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. _I don't suppose he'd let me pretend this never even happened._

Zelos was right. The next afternoon, while Zelos sat and moped, there was a careful knock on his door. "Come in," he called.

The door slid open to reveal Kratos, who looked somewhat uncomfortable. He stepped into the room, not quite meeting Zelos' eyes. "I…wanted to talk to you. About what you saw yesterday…" he trailed off, sounding uncharacteristically nervous.

_Dear Goddess, he's actually scared!_ Zelos thought. "Dude, I'm really sorry about that. If I'd known, damn sure I'd have let you two have your privacy," he said in what he hoped would be a reassuring tone.

Kratos relaxed just a little bit, but still looked discomfited. "Does it…bother you?" he asked frankly.

Zelos blinked as though the thought of being bothered hadn't occurred to him at all. "No, of course not. I mean, you two have known each other literally forever, right?" Kratos still didn't completely relax, so Zelos finally admitted, "Besides, he's hot; if he were a bit more friendly, I might try to steal him." _More likely, I'd try to steal you from him, but I'm not about to say so to your face, because I still want to be your friend._

Now it was Kratos' turn to blink. "You mean…" he said, then shook his head, looking relieved, "And to think I was concerned about your reaction."

"Yeah, no problems here," Zelos replied with a grin; then, with deceptive casualness, he asked, "So, how long have you two been together?"

"…I suppose that depends on your definition of 'together'. I've known him for over four thousand years, during most of which we have been occasional lovers; we've never had an exclusive relationship."

Hope flared briefly in Zelos' heart, but he kept his expression neutral, "Gotcha, more like friends with benefits, then. That's cool."

"For myself, I'm surprised that I never picked up on your behaviors before. Now that I look back on the Journey, I distinctly recall thinking on a few occasions that if you were anyone else, I would believe you were flirting with Lloyd," Kratos said, one eyebrow raised.

Zelos smiled sheepishly, "Yeah, okay, I had a crush on the kid for a while there…me and half the party, that is. But I'm over that; and anyway, he and Colette really do belong together."

Kratos nodded, then gave him a slightly hesitant half-smile. "I'm glad you aren't uncomfortable with this," he said, "I've…come to value your companionship."

Zelos smiled warmly at him, "I've noticed, and thank you; it really means a lot to me." _More than I'll ever tell you._ "To tell the truth, even if I wasn't comfortable with it, I think I'd make an effort to become so, or else I'd have no one to talk to. I could talk at Lloyd or Colette, but it wouldn't be the same."

Kratos' smile grew warmer, and Zelos had to fight down a blush. Fortunately, Kratos caught sight of the clock, and his eyes widened. "I should go," he said, "I'm glad we could have this discussion."

"Sure thing. You and Yuan go have fun," Zelos said with a knowing grin, although his heart gave an unsettling pang at the thought, "And don't worry, I won't tell Lloyd or Colette if you don't want me to."

Kratos nodded. "I know; I trust you," he said, making Zelos' heart skip a beat. Then, he was out the door.

This left Zelos cursing his infatuation, and once again wondering how long he could keep it secret, especially now that he knew he had some slim chance of getting the Seraph to return his affections. With a sigh, he lay back on his bed and examined the ceiling once more. _Why can't anything in my life ever be easy to deal with?

* * *

_

Yeah, Zelos is totally in love, although he's not about to admit it to himself. And Kratos...who knows what Kratos is thinking. I'm not even entirely sure; they're writing themselves, here, and I'm just along for the ride.

I got Yuan into this chapter! And the people rejoiced! (Right? _...Right?_)

More lovely reviews make authoresses grow big and strong!


	5. Sad Zelos In Snow

Long chapter! This one includes some Zelos introspection, some fluff, some angst, and a brief Kratos POV that I hope I didn't utterly screw up. Disclaimer, Alex?

Alex Rowe: ...

Now, Alex.

Alex Rowe: ...Sylvia Viridian does not own Tales of Symphonia. Or Last Exile.

Thank you, Alex. You can go back to brooding in silence now. Oh, and my apologies to Fred Gallagher for the title, I just couldn't resist.

* * *

Chapter Four: Sad Zelos In Snow 

They stayed at the Renegade base for a couple of days, to restock and simply to visit with Yuan. Finally, though, the group bid the Renegades farewell, and headed for Flanoir itself. Fortunately, there weren't many small cities on this continent, just a few little fishing villages that wouldn't have any Exspheres in them, so they only needed to visit the main city. They made land just a mile or two away, then bundled up as warmly as they could, and began the short hike into town.

Zelos hated snow. It reminded him of the day his mother had died, killed by Seles' half-elven mother. He shivered a bit as they walked across the white-powdered landscape, her last words to him echoing through his mind.

"_You should never have been born."_

He'd believed it for years. What had his life ever brought to anyone except pain and sorrow? He was always in someone's way, and eventually took a kind of pleasure in defying what others thought he should be…but it was a bitter feeling, because his actions only made them despise him more. The swordsman, supposedly a mercenary, that Cruxis sent to train him when he was seventeen had seemed different from other people, but at that time, Kratos had kept his distance, refusing to treat Zelos as any more than a somewhat irritating student; he didn't hate Zelos, but gave no indication of enjoying his company, either. It wasn't until he'd met Lloyd and the group that anyone actually liked him, and he hadn't known what to do with that at first. He would be forever in Lloyd's debt, for saving him from himself.

Suddenly, he smiled, as the memory of his mother's words was replaced by the memory of the last time he'd been in Flanoir, when he and Lloyd had had a long conversation under the stars.

"_I refuse to vanish. And so I don't want anyone else to be destroyed…I want you to live, too, Zelos."_

In that moment, Zelos had made his decision. Whatever else might be true, there was only one side that actually cared if Zelos Wilder lived or died – not the Chosen One, not their spy, but just Zelos Wilder – and suddenly, he had wanted more than anything to be part of that. He wanted to want to live, because Lloyd wanted him to live, and that meant everything.

…The crush he'd had on Lloyd at the time probably had something to do with it, too.

_I could grow to like this stuff,_ Zelos thought, reaching down to the ground suddenly and scooping up a handful, _I mean, so much else has changed…maybe it's time for this to change, too._ He glanced at the handful of snow, then looked at Lloyd, who was talking and laughing with Colette, and his smile turned into a devilish grin. Carefully, he shaped the snow into a sphere. Then, he called out, "Hey, Lloyd, look at this!" and when Lloyd turned around, threw the snowball smack into his friend's face. Seeing Lloyd's shocked expression, he laughed, "Gotcha!"

Lloyd shook off the snow, the shock fading away into a broad grin. "Oh, I'm gonna get you for that!" he cried, scooping up a snowball and returning fire.

Zelos ducked it. "Ha, missed me!" he taunted, then yelped as a second snowball hit him. He had missed seeing that one, mostly because it came from Colette. "Hey, two-on-one, no fair!" he cried, gathering another snowball and quickly throwing it at the pair. He dodged aside to avoid Lloyd's next volley, and was about to tease him for his bad aim, when he saw a startled expression on the kid's face.

"Oops," Lloyd said, looking past Zelos, "Um, sorry…"

"What? What happened?" Zelos asked, turning to follow Lloyd's gaze. There stood Kratos, with snow covering his face; he had been hit by the snowball that Zelos dodged. "Oh. Uh…" Zelos didn't quite know what to say, mostly because he couldn't tell how Kratos was reacting.

The man's expression was utterly unreadable as he wiped the snow from his face, and then turned to face the others. He smirked, almost imperceptibly, at their uncertainty; then, quick as lightning, he dipped down for a handful of snow, and rose up throwing. The snowball hit Lloyd in the center of the chest, as the others gaped at Kratos for another instant, astonished by his broad smile and the playfully predatory gleam in his eyes. Then Zelos crowed with laughter, shouting, "Way to go, old man! We'll give these two a run for their money, huh?"

Snowballs flew between the four all the way to Flanoir, and they arrived at the inn wet, tired, and happy.

* * *

Later that evening, when they were all warm and dry, Zelos sat in the inn's common room with the other three as they ate dinner, trying his best to stare at his food and not Kratos. 

Every time he saw the older swordsman, it seemed, he couldn't shake the memory of catching Kratos and Yuan together, and the image sent all kinds of uncomfortable feelings through him. He wanted to hit Yuan for taking Kratos away from him, and Kratos for leaving him, and most of all himself for being so silly, because he and Kratos had never been together, so Yuan couldn't have stolen him, and Kratos couldn't have left. And in addition, Kratos had freely admitted that his relationship with Yuan was open, so Zelos had no cause for jealousy whatsoever. This utterly failed to stop him from being insanely jealous.

And at the same time, the thought of Kratos being so open to anyone sent a sharp twist of longing through Zelos. There had been a look in Kratos' eyes, just before the two noticed Zelos' arrival…Zelos had barely seen it, but he knew that he wanted to see that expression directed at himself. It had been as though for just a moment, all the barriers Kratos had built up through the years had vanished. The impossible nature of that single desire sent Zelos spiraling into despair.

"Zelos?" Colette's voice broke through his thoughts, and he realized that she had been saying his name for some time now.

"Hm? Oh, sorry, Colette…I was kind of lost in my thoughts. What's up?" he responded, giving her a smile that he hoped looked sincere.

"We were just wondering if you were all right," Lloyd replied in Colette's place.

"You've been staring at your meal without taking a bite for at least five minutes now. Is something wrong?" Kratos added, looking slightly concerned.

Zelos tried not to blush, "Um, no, nothing's wrong. Just thinking about…about what I should get Seles for her birthday!" He grinned cheerfully, slipping back into his old familiar mask. _Nice save._

Lloyd looked puzzled, "I thought you said her birthday was in April? That's months from now!"

"Yeah, but you wouldn't believe how hard she is to shop for," Zelos said, weaving truth into the lie to make it more believable, "Maybe I should just wrap up the brat and give him to her, she seemed to like him when we all visited." It was true; Zelos had definitely seen Seles giving Genis the eye when the whole group had visited her in the abbey to get Zelos' Cruxis Crystal from her.

"Genis? Really?" Lloyd looked surprised.

"Oh, they'd be so cute together!" Colette squealed, "We should try and set them up!"

Zelos backpedaled a bit, "I dunno…she's pretty bright, and if she figured out what we were doing…she's hard to predict. She might be grateful, or she might flip out on us for trying to control her." He hadn't realized that Colette had a matchmaking streak in her…

"Besides, Genis likes Presea, right?" Lloyd added.

"Yes, but…I don't think she really sees him as anything but a child. She really isn't as young as she looks," Colette pointed out, "It would be good for Genis to find someone else. I think Presea would be happier with that, too."

With Lloyd and Colette safely distracted by their conversation about Genis' love life, Zelos rose quietly from his place at the table, intending to take a walk somewhere quiet and try to sort out his emotions. He had taken a few steps toward the door when Kratos' voice stopped him.

"Where are you going?" the Seraph questioned softly, so as not to disturb the other two in their conversation.

Zelos froze. "Um, I thought I'd take a walk, get some fresh air, you know. Good for the digestion."

The look of concern still hadn't entirely left Kratos' gaze. "…Don't stay out too long," he replied finally, "There's supposed to be a storm coming later, and it wouldn't do to have you caught in it."

"No problem; I'll be back before you know it!" Zelos replied with forced cheerfulness, determined to make Kratos believe there was nothing wrong. With that, he quickly strode through the door of the inn, pausing only to snatch the woolen coat that Yuan had provided each of them with.

Kratos watched him go, his gaze still troubled, but said nothing.

* * *

Zelos wandered through the snow. His straight path directly away from the Snowy City contrasted with the tumultuous circles his thoughts were running in. Much to his dismay, the only thing he'd determined for certain was that his feelings for Kratos had progressed beyond what could reasonably be called a 'crush'. He'd fallen in love with the man, and fallen hard; from the pain in his chest, he'd guess that the fall had broken a couple of ribs…and he'd completely killed that metaphor. 

(Maybe he'd landed on it when he fell.)

Suddenly, he shivered, and noticed that the wind had begun to pick up. Looking around him for the first time in at least thirty minutes, he discovered that dark clouds had begun to gather in the sky, and the few drifting flakes of snow that were perpetually falling to the white-powdered ground had been joined by flurries of their cousins. He glanced back at Flanoir and swore softly; the city was much too far away for comfort, especially with the wind growing colder every moment.

He began to hurry as fast as he could back to the inn, knowing that he would never make it before the coming storm hit. And his fears were quickly realized; less than ten minutes had passed before the swirling snowstorm obliterated his vision, making navigation all but impossible. He shivered and pulled his already snow-caked woolen coat tighter about him, hoping that as long as he kept going in what he believed was a straight line, he could reach the city before he froze to death. And the sun was going down – he could tell by the gradual change of the world about him from white to grey – which meant that temperatures would be dropping even faster.

Zelos walked as long as he could, struggling through the snow. He lost all sense of what time it was once darkness had fallen; he might have been walking for one hour, or for many. He was afraid to go in any direction except straight forward, in case he lost his way…and afraid that he had already lost it, turning without knowing he had done so, disoriented by the swirling winds. Finally, just as he was sure he could go no further, the wind and snow around him seemed to lessen, and he was able to make out the shapes of buildings blocking the wind somewhat. Somehow, he'd made it back to the city.

_Just a little farther, and I'll be back to the inn, and Kratos can yell at me for not listening to him as much as he wants,_ Zelos thought, stumbling forward in relief. But his exhausted, freezing limbs would carry him no further, and he collapsed there in the street at the edge of town, unable to rise again. _Or not…Man, what a way to go. Sorry, everyone…looks like I won't be able to help you any further._ Zelos thought he should be more concerned about this, but the cold was making even his feelings sluggish; he didn't have the energy to be scared anymore. As his consciousness faded, Zelos thought he saw a shape moving through the swirling snow toward him. Then, all was darkness, and Zelos Wilder knew nothing more.

* * *

Kratos was worried. Zelos had left hours ago, and hadn't returned before the storm hit. Lloyd and Colette had seemed certain that Zelos would be all right, but neither of them was as familiar as Kratos was with the viciousness of storms in Flanoir. Both of them had gone to bed an hour earlier, leaving Kratos to watch for Zelos' return alone, waiting in growing anxiousness, jumping at every small creak that his angelic hearing could catch, in the hope that his young friend had finally returned. 

Finally, the Seraph could endure no longer. He rose swiftly, found a pen and paper on the front desk and jotted down a quick note to Lloyd and Colette on the off chance that something prevented his return, grabbed the coat that he didn't entirely need (being a Seraph had its advantages), and went out into the cold to look for Zelos.

The air temperature didn't bother his metabolism as much as it would an ordinary person's, and Kratos knew that he would be able to survive it for far longer than Zelos could. Neither of the Chosen Ones had gone through the full, permanent transformation, the one which would allow them to endure extreme climates and halt their aging process. It was a more complex – and painful – process than the transformation that the Journey of Regeneration required. Normally, Kratos regarded it as a good thing that the others had been spared that pain, but right now he wished Zelos was a Seraph, because the younger man had to be near-frozen if he'd been caught in this storm ever since it began.

Even a Seraph wasn't completely immune to the cold, though, and Kratos found that the wind brought a painful chill to his exposed face and fingers, and seemed to cut right through his coat and clothing in places. Add this to the stinging particles of snow being tossed about, and Kratos was not a happy angel. Quickly, he strode toward the edge of town, following the route that Zelos had most likely taken, hoping that he wouldn't pass by his friend without knowing it, for the swirling snow surely provided even less visibility outside the city itself.

As he approached the city limits, he saw a figure through the obscuring, snow-filled gusts of wind. The figure wavered on its feet for a moment, then collapsed heavily in the middle of the street. Kratos rushed to the person's side, all cold and pain forgotten in the mingled hope that he'd found Zelos, and fear that he hadn't found him soon enough.

As he reached the fallen person, he could see that it was, indeed, Zelos. Swiftly, Kratos scooped the Ex-Chosen up into his arms and, ignoring all considerations of how others might react, called out his wings, flying them back to the inn at top speed, fighting gusts of wind the whole way in his desperation to get Zelos somewhere warm before it was too late.

He burst through the door of the inn and made for Zelos' bedroom, where he set the younger swordsman in the bed and stripped off his damp clothes. He bundled Zelos up in as many blankets as he could find close at hand, then went to wake the innkeeper.

"What is it?" the man asked sleepily as he opened his door.

"My companion was caught in the storm," Kratos explained, "You have hot water bottles for treating hypothermia, yes?" It would be ridiculous for a hotel in Flanoir not to be able to treat tourists who stayed out in the cold too long.

"Ordinarily, we do, but they're all in use right now," the innkeeper replied, "Your friend wasn't the only one caught outside too long today. I'm afraid you'll have to use more traditional means to warm him." With that, the man retreated from Kratos' irritated glare back into the comfort and safety of his warm bed.

With a sigh, Kratos returned to Zelos' room, where the Ex-Chosen remained exactly where Kratos had put him, too cold even to shiver. Kratos fished out a pair of pajama pants from Zelos' knapsack and dressed him in them, then stripped himself to the waist and climbed into the bed beside Zelos and wrapped his arms around the other's clammy form, spooning their bodies together in an effort to provide as much contact as possible. It was a surprisingly comfortable position, and Kratos had to fight off the impulse to bury his face in the junction of Zelos' neck and shoulder. He quickly set aside all questions about that urge toward intimacy, at the very least until such time as Zelos was healthy, and closing his eyes, Kratos drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

* * *

Zelos woke up gradually. The first thing he noticed was that he felt comfortably warm, which was rather confusing. He'd expected either the burning heat of Niflheim or the blank nothingness of being trapped in an Exsphere, or perhaps simply to never wake up at all. With a noise reminiscent of a purr in the back of his throat, he snuggled a little deeper into the warmth that enveloped him, still not fully awake. _Maybe…maybe I'm still alive, then?_ he thought slowly, _Maybe someone rescued me…_ He opened his eyes slowly, blinking a few times to focus them…and saw a pair of strong arms wrapped around him. _What the hell?_ he thought, attempting to shift around and get a better look. 

"How are you feeling?" came a voice over his shoulder, deep and warm and a little thick with sleep, and far too familiar, and Zelos was suddenly very awake. In an instant, he froze, becoming acutely aware of every sensation his body was experiencing, particularly one down below that he hoped he could keep Kratos from noticing. He turned just his head to face the older swordsman as well as he could, trying not to notice that neither of them was wearing a shirt, and found Kratos looking at him with mild concern. "Um, what…what happened?" Zelos half-squeaked, trying desperately to figure out this situation. At least they both seemed to still be wearing their pants…

Kratos, seeming to realize the position they were in, backed off, withdrawing his arms from around Zelos with a very faint blush and moving back a bit. A bit disappointed, Zelos sat up, careful to keep the blanket over his lap as he did so. "When you didn't return, I became concerned, and went looking for you. I saw you collapse in the snow," Kratos explained, "and I brought you back here. But the inn was out of hot water-bottles to warm people up with…this was the only way to warm you up quickly enough."

Zelos felt simultaneously elated that Kratos had rescued him, and disappointed that he'd only slept there out of necessity. "Thanks, man," he finally managed, "To tell you the truth, I thought I was a goner for sure. I guess we're even now, huh?"

"…If you want to look at it that way," Kratos allowed, "Personally, I regard it more as looking out for the safety of a friend."

It was the first time Kratos had freely acknowledged the bond they had as being friendship; as Zelos' heart felt swelled with emotion, he wondered how he could ever have not loved this man. "…Thanks," he said again, more softly, trying hard not to blush.

"And continuing in that activity, I'll ask you again; how are you feeling?"

Zelos mentally catalogued his sensations. "…Pretty good, considering," he said after a moment, "My nose and ears feel a bit achy, and my fingers and toes are kinda tingly, but I suppose that's natural." His expression grew grave, "…It was a near thing, wasn't it?"

"Far too near," Kratos agreed, "Don't do it again. …I might not be lucky enough to find you so quickly next time." His tone was calm, but there was an edge underneath it, of something that Zelos couldn't quite grasp.

Zelos smiled, a genuine smile this time, "I promise."

* * *

I'd like to state for the record here that Kratos isn't really registering the implications of his emotional response to finding Zelos there. Although it's clear to anyone observing, he hasn't really noticed anything unusual about his reactions. I am of the firm belief that Lloyd inherited his thick skull from his father. 

To Gorbash, whoever you may be: Thank you so much for the kind and thoughtful review. To tell the truth, I didn't even notice what I was doing with Zelos...I just let the characters talk, and transcribe what they say to each situation that I put them in. I do tend to make Colette a bit smarter than most people give her credit for...I identify with her in a lot of ways, since I can be kind of klutzy, and I have a tendency to apologize for breathing. I'm glad you like it so far, hope it continues to meet with your approval!

Please review, everyone!


	6. Confessions

Next-to-last chapter! (At least, here. The final lemon will be posted elsewhere, as per site rules.)

A few points to make here. First of all, I don't own anything. Second, I've never really experienced this level of drunkenness firsthand, either myself or by being around someone this drunk, and I've never had a hangover. So I don't really know what I'm talking about. Third, if anyone can't understand Zelos, let me know and I'll provide you with a translation. If enough people can't understand him, I'll edit his speech so that he's more comprehensible.

Enjoy the fic!

* * *

Colette was worried. She was waiting up late for Zelos to come back to the hotel. He'd left earlier that night, saying something about enjoying Altamira's night life while they were there; it was now sometime after midnight. Lloyd had gone to bed, while Kratos had muttered something about taking a walk about an hour ago, and left her alone there. She sighed, and kept glancing at the door anxiously.

The problems had started, she thought, back when they had visited the Renegades. Up until then, Kratos and Zelos had been getting along great, and she thought there might even be something more forming between them. But after they'd gone to visit Yuan, Zelos had started avoiding Kratos, and Kratos had become more withdrawn as a result. Lately, things had gotten really tense; even Lloyd was starting to notice. And Zelos had been seeming really depressed about something lately. She kept catching him staring at Kratos with a strange expression, and once or twice she'd actually caught Kratos looking at Zelos almost the same way. Something needed to be done about it, she knew, and soon.

Just then, Zelos stumbled in through the door of the hotel. He stood staring dazedly at a potted plant for a moment, before moving further into the lobby, and this gave Colette a chance to study his appearance. She wasn't sure, exactly, since she'd never really seen anyone drunk before, but knowing Zelos and his situation lately, she guessed that he'd had about a dozen too many. Rising from her chair, she walked toward him, noting as she did so the trails of dried tears on his cheeks. "Zelos?" she asked softly, "are you all right?"

Zelos spun wildly to face her, startled, and ended up losing his balance and falling to the floor. He giggled drunkenly at this, seeming to find it quite hilarious. "Hi, C'lette," he managed after a moment, "I think I'm kinna drunk." He giggled some more.

Colette nodded, "Yeah, I think you are. Do you…want me to help you to your room?"

Zelos pondered this idea for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah…don' think I c'd get there 'n my own," he slurred.

Colette nodded, then went over to help him stand up, managing after a few failed attempts (which produced more giggling fits from Zelos) to sling his arm about her shoulders and support his weight. Fortunately, her angelic strength hadn't left her yet, although it had faded a bit since she'd regained her soul, and she still had more than enough strength to carry Zelos' weight. "Here we go, now we need to get you over to the elevator," she said softly, moving them in that direction. Regal had given them the most expensive rooms, on the top floor, free of charge.

"Thanksh, C'lette. Yer sho nishe," Zelos murmured, "Pretty, too. 'Cept no touchy, 'caush yer Lloyd'sh, an' too good f'r me anyhow. An' b'shidsh…" he trailed off, then shook his head, "nope, not thinkin' 'bout him. Not. Nope. Not t'night."

"You love him, don't you?" Colette prodded, as they made their slow way into the elevator, "Kratos, I mean."

"Not thinkin' 'bout that," Zelos muttered, "He'sh nev'r gonna wan' me anyway. Better t' f'rget."

Colette nodded absently as she pushed the elevator button, a plan forming in her mind as they ascended. She wasn't completely certain of how Kratos felt…but she did know that they couldn't go on like this. Surely, surely it would be better if things were out in the open…and she had a feeling that it would all turn out okay, if only they got a little bit of a push.

While Colette considered, the elevator pinged softly, and stopped at their floor. "Here we are," she told Zelos, "Out we go now, your room's right over here." Zelos just nodded quietly as they made their way across the floor.

Finally, Colette found herself faced with the staircase. Zelos' room was just beside it, on the lower level. The rest of the rooms were up on the level above it; Lloyd's was the closest, then her own, then Kratos' was at the end of the hall. Colette paused, biting her lip for a moment. Here was the point of decision. Should she meddle in what wasn't really her business, and hope that it would go away on its own, or should she trust her feelings, and hope that taking action would be helping rather than making things worse?

Zelos, noticing that they'd stopped, looked around blurrily. "Whish one'sh mine, again?" he asked, "Shorry, I guesh I forgot…"

Colette set her jaw. No matter what happened next, it had to be better than the feelings that had reduced Zelos to this state, right? And after all, he'd done so much to help her and Lloyd… "It's up here," she said, guiding him toward the staircase and helping him climb, "The room at the end of the hall. You can rest once you're there, okay? Up we go!"

* * *

Kratos sighed as he entered his room, sometime later. He'd taken a walk to try to clear away his worries about Zelos, but it hadn't helped much. He couldn't understand why the younger man kept avoiding him lately. Zelos had said that he was okay with what he'd seen at the Renegade base, but ever since then, things had changed between them, and Kratos had found himself oddly lonesome without his young friend's company. It was ridiculous, really. He'd gone far longer without any companions at all, in the past, and now he was traveling with three; even if one of them wouldn't talk to him for reasons he didn't fully understand, he surely had no cause for loneliness. 

Wrapped up in his own thoughts and confused emotions, Kratos had removed his boots and cape before the sound of someone's regular breathing registered on his enhanced senses, and he froze. A confused frown on his face, he made his way over to the bed, and was met with the sight of Zelos sleeping peacefully there.

Kratos refused to think about the deep sense of longing the sight produced in him, instead reaching out to shake Zelos' shoulder roughly, feeling more than a little bewildered, and somewhat put out. "Zelos," he said, "Wake up!" As he leaned in to get better leverage, he could smell the alcohol on Zelos' breath even from the distance he was at.

Zelos' eyes opened blearily after a moment. "Whaat?" he asked, clearly still quite drunk, "Oh. 'Ish you. Whatta ya want? Don' wanna think 'bout you t'night."

"What are you doing in my bed?" Kratos got right to the point.

Zelos looked around confusedly, pondering this for a moment, before looking back up at Kratos. "Shleepin'?" he asked.

Kratos was torn. Part of him wanted to shout at Zelos, part of him wanted to burst out laughing at his expression, and part of him…wanted something he wasn't going to think about right now. This resulted in a blank, almost helpless expression, and he decided to change the subject. "What did you mean, you don't want to think about me tonight?" he asked, then blinked a bit. He wasn't at all sure that was what he'd intended to say…but he couldn't take it back now.

"That," Zelos said, "Don' wanna think about you. Wanna get away, just a little. Don' wanna be in love when y'ain't gonna love me, but can' help that, so wanna get away. An' can' tell you, 'caush I like bein' yer frien'. 'Shept I guesh 'm not doin' such a good job o' that, eith'r, thesh daysh."

Kratos was dumbstruck. Zelos…loved him? Staring down at the younger man, who looked on the verge of passing out again, he was flooded with uncertainty, but also with an odd warmth. What had he ever done to deserve Zelos' love? And yet there it was, freely offered and staring up at him with wide blue eyes…

…Eyes that were still very much clouded with alcohol, which realization brought Kratos to his senses before he even realized he'd been reaching out toward the younger man. He shook his head, and instead of moving to embrace Zelos, Kratos pushed him back down on the bed. "Sleep," he commanded, "We'll talk about this in the morning."

Zelos nodded, and was asleep before his head hit the pillow, leaving Kratos to sit down in the nearby armchair and think. How long had this been going on? How long had he, too, been falling in love? Because he was, and he felt like a supreme idiot for not noticing sooner. To be fair, he hadn't had a whole lot of experience with the emotion, and it was a tricky one, never the same feeling twice, but now that he looked back, he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed before.

What would he do now? He was sure that Zelos wouldn't remember this conversation in the morning, judging by his current state. How could he bring it up, once Zelos was sober again? Would Zelos reject him in the daylight, trying to save face? Questions roiled through his mind, one following hard on the heels of another, and all unanswerable, until another one floated to the surface.

How the hell had Zelos gotten up to his room in that condition? He was in no condition to walk far, let alone manage that many stairs.

There were a few possibilities. One of the hotel's staff might have brought him there by mistake, but it seemed unlikely; they were usually pretty well-informed. Zelos might have made it on his own, with lots of falls, but that didn't seem very plausible either, when his own room was so much more accessible. Or one of the children could have brought him here. And really, there was only one of them who might think to do that.

He rose and left the room, checking the crack under Colette's door. Sure enough, her light was on, and he knocked firmly on the door. "Colette?" he asked, "May I speak with you?"

"Just a minute!" the girl's voice called, and then the door opened, revealing Colette in her white nightgown. "What is it, Kratos?" she asked, her tone just a little too innocent.

"There's something I'm a bit confused about," Kratos told her, "It seems that Zelos has made his way into my bed."

Colette flinched for just a moment, before replying in a slightly shaky voice, "He…did? Why did he do that?"

Kratos shook his head as if in exasperation with a riddle, suppressing a smile. Colette was smarter than she sometimes seemed, but she was still a horrible liar. "It's most puzzling," he admitted, "since he appears to be too drunk to manage the stairs on his own, and especially since his room was so much easier to reach. I've never yet known a drunk to choose the less accessible of two beds."

"That is weird," Colette admitted, refusing to meet his gaze, "B-but why are you asking me about it?"

"Colette," Kratos said, his tone mildly chiding, and she finally looked up at him, her gaze nervous and apologetic. "What did you think you were doing?" he asked evenly.

Colette bit her lip for a moment, looking down, then said in a small voice, "Helping. I…just wanted to help. You were both so sad, and…and I thought maybe you didn't need to be…I'm sorry if I made things worse…"

"Colette, look at me," Kratos told the girl neutrally. When she raised her eyes to meet his, he gazed at her for a moment, then smiled ever-so-slightly. "Thank you," he said softly, "I don't know what will happen now, but for what it's worth…I think you've done us both quite a favor."

Colette's gaze cleared, and she smiled slightly. "I'm glad," she said, "I hated seeing you both like that. I was worried, but…I'm glad that I could help." She yawned a little, covering her mouth politely. "It's really late," she said, "We should both get to bed."

Kratos nodded, "Goodnight, then. …Oh, and could you try to keep Lloyd away from my room in the morning?" At Colette's questioning gaze, he added, "He tends to be loud, and Zelos will be very, very sensitive to noise when he awakens."

Colette nodded, "Okay, sure. Goodnight." She retreated into her room, and Kratos went back into his own. He retrieved some items necessary for treating the massive hangover Zelos was sure to have in the morning, then settled back into the armchair to wait out the night, contemplating this new turn of events.

* * *

Zelos rose toward consciousness slowly and reluctantly. The first thing he was aware of was a throbbing pain, which seemed to be triggered by a loud, rhythmic rushing noise in his ears. Whimpering a bit, he flinched as this sound caused a new pain, and just tried to breathe more quietly. This helped a bit, but only a little.

"I see you're awake," a low voice said from somewhere nearby, very quietly.

"Kill me now," Zelos whispered, "I can't take the pain."

Kratos smirked a little, recalling that he and Yuan had both learned this lesson the hard way. As it turned out, angelic hearing did not mix well with hangovers. "I can't do that," he said under his breath, knowing that Zelos would catch every sound, "but I can give you some painkillers, if you think you can hold them down."

The mention of consuming anything brought a new sensation to Zelos' attention, and he quickly clamped his mouth shut, shooting Kratos a desperate look as his face paled, then turned slightly green. Wordlessly, Kratos handed him a bowl, which Zelos accepted, quickly emptying the remaining contents of his stomach into it. Kratos moved over to the bed and carefully pulled his hair back to keep it out of the way, but Zelos was too sick to be properly grateful.

When the last of the dry heaves seemed to have passed, and Zelos sat gasping softly and groaning in pain, Kratos gently pressed a glass of water into his hands. "Drink," he said softly, "You'll feel better."

Zelos took the glass and sipped carefully from it. "Thanks," he whispered eventually, his voice hoarse, "Sorry about all this."

"It's fine," Kratos replied, absently stroking Zelos' hair, "Do you want those painkillers now?"

Zelos nodded, then winced at the motion. "Yeah," he whispered, "Thanks." Kratos moved to fetch them, and handed a few pills to Zelos, who swallowed them carefully. After a few moments, Zelos blinked around at the room. "This…isn't my room," he said slowly.

"No," Kratos agreed quietly, "It's mine. I came back last night to find you here."

Zelos frowned. "I don't remember…anything like that," he admitted.

"I'm not surprised," Kratos replied, "You were very drunk at the time."

"I didn't say anything I shouldn't have, did I?" Zelos asked quickly, "'Cause if I did, I'm sorry…"

"No," Kratos told him with a faint smile, "No, you didn't say anything you shouldn't have said."

Zelos nodded, looking relieved, "Oh, good…"

Still smiling vaguely, Kratos rose. "You should stay here and rest," he said, "I'll let the other two know you're sick, and have them spend the day at the amusement park or something."

Zelos smiled ruefully at him. "Thanks," he said again, "I…really appreciate all this."

"It's fine," Kratos repeated, picking up the bowl that sat on the bed, "Rest. I'll take care of things until you're feeling better." With that, he left.

Zelos stared at the door for a moment in mild confusion. Shouldn't Kratos, like, be angry at him for going out and getting drunk like that? He shrugged after a moment, deciding that he'd figure it out when his head hurt less, and lay back down in the bed to sleep off his hangover.

* * *

Late that afternoon, Zelos' headache was nearly gone, and he was dressed and moving about the hotel. He found Kratos standing on a balcony that overlooked the ocean, and moved to stand beside him. "Quite a view," he murmured.

"It is," Kratos responded, "Did you need something?"

"You're so direct," Zelos chuckled, "I just wanted to thank you. For this morning and all. I thought for sure you'd be mad at me for everything."

"I might have been, but I remember the first time I went drinking after I got my wings, and I rather thought any greater punishment than what you were feeling would be unnecessarily cruel," Kratos replied with a slight smirk, "I trust you've learned your lesson?"

Zelos nodded emphatically, then winced a bit; the last edges of his headache were still lingering. "I definitely have," he agreed, "So, uh…what happened last night, anyway? I remember leaving the bar, but after that, it's sort of a blur. Except there's something about Colette, but that can't be right…" He frowned, trying to piece together the fragmented recollections.

"Actually, from what I gather, it is," Kratos replied evenly, "She was the one who helped you into bed."

Zelos considered this for a moment. "But…I was in your bed," he said slowly, trying to make sense of this.

"She had her reasons," Kratos stated in the same tone as before, staring fixedly at the horizon, "Reasons which were borne out by what you said when I found you."

Zelos paled, and he began to feel sick again. "Oh," he said dully, "I-I guess…" He sighed, "I suppose there's no use denying it." He looked away.

"That would be rather counterproductive," Kratos agreed, moving to face him.

Zelos sighed again. "I'm sorry," he said, "I never meant for this to happen. Look, I'll…catch a boat from here back to Meltokio or something. You won't ever have to see me again, I promise, I-" He was cut off by Kratos' lips pressing firmly against his own. He froze in shock for a moment, then slowly began to respond, feeling as though he had been caught in a dream as Kratos' arms wrapped around him. When they finally pulled back for air, he just stared at Kratos wonderingly. "Uh," he said eloquently, "um. I think I missed something here. Since when…?" He trailed off, not quite able to believe it was real.

Kratos shrugged slightly. "I don't know, exactly," he admitted, "I didn't realize it until last night, which was entirely my mistake, but…" he looked deeply into Zelos' eyes, "I love you." Despite everything, there was a slight hesitance in his demeanor as he waited for Zelos' response.

It wasn't long in coming, as Zelos grinned in amazement. "I love you, too," he breathed, "I just never thought…I mean…wow…" He shook his head, then pulled Kratos into a tight embrace. "I love you, too," he whispered again.

Kratos smiled warmly, his arms around Zelos' waist as the other held him close. After a moment, he leaned down and captured Zelos' lips in a searing kiss, to which the other eagerly responded. Moving one hand up to grip Zelos' shoulder, Kratos was about to deepen the kiss, when he heard a shocked voice from the balcony entrance.

"Zelos? Dad!" They froze, then broke away, blushing as both turned to see Lloyd standing there, shocked. Slightly behind him was Colette, who shot them an apologetic glance. They looked at each other, then back at Lloyd, utterly speechless.


	7. Oyako moments

Just a very short chapter this time, to wrap up the plot before we move on to the lemon. I will be posting a much-edited version of the final lemon chapter on this site, mostly as a placeholder to tell you when the real version of it can be found on my livejournal. (I'll make that chapter accessible from my profile.)

The first couple lines, in italics, are flashback to the end of last chapter, just to remind you all what's going on. I still don't own them, wish I did. Enjoy the show!

Oh, yes, and in the chapter title, 'oyako', is a Japanese word for platonic interaction between a father and son. Usage example: "I am utterly addicted to oyako fluff with Kratos and Lloyd."

* * *

_Kratos smiled warmly, his arms around Zelos' waist as the other held him close. After a moment, he leaned down and captured Zelos' lips in a searing kiss, to which the other eagerly responded. Moving one hand up to grip Zelos' shoulder, Kratos was about to deepen the kiss, when he heard a shocked voice from the balcony entrance._

"_Zelos? Dad!" They froze, then broke away, blushing as both turned to see Lloyd standing there, shocked. Slightly behind him was Colette, who shot them an apologetic glance. They looked at each other, then back at Lloyd, utterly speechless._

"Um," Zelos said, face burning scarlet, "er, hi, Lloyd…" Lloyd just stared at him, expression unreadable.

"…Lloyd," Kratos said, "…Can I speak with you, alone?"

After a moment, Lloyd nodded, still looking a bit shell-shocked. Kratos gave Zelos and Colette each a significant look, and they nodded and left, closing the balcony doors behind them. Turning to Lloyd, Kratos sighed.

"That would not have been the ideal way for you to have found out about this," he said.

Lloyd finally recovered his voice. "I'll say!" he cried, "How…why…I mean…" he took a deep breath, "How long has this been happening?"

"I only found out about it last night," Kratos replied calmly, "although it seems to have been building for a while."

"Is that why you guys have been so weird lately?" Lloyd asked, seeming a bit calmer now.

"…I wasn't aware that my behavior had changed," Kratos responded, "but yes, that is the reason Zelos has been acting differently."

"You didn't notice?" Lloyd asked skeptically, "You've been going off by yourself and brooding a lot, it's almost like back when we first met." He shook his head, "Anyway…it's just…a bit of a shock, I guess. Does this mean you two are…what was the word they used for it in the village…'queer'?" The younger man still looked bewildered.

"A more polite term is 'gay'," Kratos told his son matter-of-factly, "And in our case, both of us are bisexual, meaning that gender simply doesn't make a difference in who we love." Despite his neutral tone, a hint of worry danced about his eyes.

Lloyd nodded, "Okay, that kind of makes sense. I mean, you loved Mom and all…"

"I did," Kratos responded with a nod of his own, "I will never forget your mother, Lloyd. She was the most remarkable woman I've ever met. What I have with Zelos is…different."

Lloyd waved the comment off, "I know, I know." He smiled, "I'm not about to blame you for falling in love again, don't worry about that. I'm glad you're happy. It's just kind of surprising to me that you fell in love with Zelos, of all people."

Kratos smiled in relief. "I'm glad," he said, "I was afraid…"

"No, no, it's fine," Lloyd replied, moving forward to embrace his father. "You're my dad, I'll love you no matter what, okay?"

Kratos held Lloyd close. "Thank you," he whispered.

They embraced a moment longer, then Lloyd pulled back and stepped away, getting an odd expression on his face. "Wait a minute," he said, "If Zelos likes both guys and girls…" he shook his head, as if trying to dispel some image, "…no, I'm imagining things."

Kratos chuckled. "Yes, Lloyd," he said, amusement filling his tone, "he did admit to me that for a time during the Journey, he had something of a crush on you."

Lloyd's expression was priceless. "I did not need to know that," he said in a small voice.

Kratos just laughed. "Don't worry," he said, "He's over it by now, and even if he wasn't, he respects your relationship with Colette."

Lloyd sighed in relief. "Okay," he said, "That's all right, then. I'll…try not to be weird."

"He'll understand," Kratos replied, "Shall we go and see how he and Colette are faring?" He glanced at the entrance to the balcony, noting with amusement that the curtain fell back into place as soon as he looked their way.

"Sure, yeah," Lloyd said, "…I'm sure Colette will want to know what you've told me, too."

"I think she already knew," Kratos replied, moving to open the balcony doors, "And not just because she and Zelos were listening in on our conversation." He glanced at the two, who were sitting in the room and gave him guilty looks as he entered.

Lloyd laughed. "I suppose I kind of half-expected that," he admitted.

"I'm sorry, Lloyd," Colette murmured apologetically, "I just wanted to make sure you two would be okay…"

"It's fine, Colette," Lloyd told her, "I understand. And it all turned out okay, right?" Colette just nodded, beaming at him happily.

"It sure did," Zelos responded warmly, "I'm glad both of you are all right with this. And I promise, on my honor," he held up two fingers as if making a pledge, "I won't flirt with Lloyd any more, ever."

"You had better not," Kratos growled, though the sound distinctly lacked menace, and the others all laughed.

* * *

Lemon will be posted soon, in the meantime, please review, and I'll get back to you as soon as I notice. (I don't seem to be getting alerts lately...) 


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